RESILIENCE IN A TIME OF WAR:
TIPS FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS OF MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS

TIPS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL CHILDREN IN A TIME OF WAR

·          Seize the opportunity to teach your children that substance use is never a healthy response to stress.  Be vigilant in your awareness concerning signs of substance use.

·          Talk with your children whenever you can. Answer your children’s questions honestly but simply and with reassurance. Ask them their opinions and listen to their answers. Don't discount their feelings. Encourage them to avoid generalities and be honest about your own feelings, but leave your children with messages of hope and encouragement. You might say, "I get a little afraid too, but I know that we're prepared and I know we'll get through it."

·          Make your home a safe place emotionally for your children.  Home should be a haven.  Spend more time with your children playing games, reading with them, or just doing side by side chores.

·          Limit the amount of news your children watch. Monitor your children's Internet usage to ensure that they aren't viewing gory or sensationalized accounts of war.  Use the news as a teaching tool.

·          Map out a routine and stick to it.  Your children may be less able to handle change when the world situation is unstable.

·          Realize that the stresses of war may heighten daily stresses. Often children this age are already feeling extreme highs and lows because of hormonal levels in their bodies; uncertainty during a time of war can make shifts seem more extreme.  Be understanding but firm when they respond to stress with bad behavior. Reassure them that you expect them to do their best.

·          Make sure you take care of yourself. You may have less patience at a time when your children need it for reassurance. Many people find that turning to a higher power, whether through organized religion or privately, can help.

·          Children want to know that they will be all right. Reassure them that they will be protected.  Make it real by having an emergency plan for the family.  Give them instructions for what to do in an emergency and give them a list of your phone numbers that they can keep in their backpacks. Share the emergency plans at their schools and prepare them. If they have family in the military, obtain as much information as you can about where their family member will be, how long they'll be gone, and how often their family member will be able to contact them.

·          Watch your children for signs of fear and anxiety. Have their grades suddenly dropped? Are they asking about the welfare of a friend during the war, when they may actually be afraid for themselves? Encourage them to use journaling or art to express their thoughts.

·           Enlist your children's help.  Make sure your children know how their actions contribute to the entire family's well-being. If your children know that they have roles to play, and that they can help, they will feel more in control and more confident.

·           Put things in a positive perspective for your children. Tell them that wars end. Point out times when they have faced up to and conquered something frightening. Point out the important things that have stayed the same, even while the outside world is changing. When you talk about bad times, make sure you talk about the good things in the future as well. Teach your children about how to think positive thoughts or think about a particular song to help them relax in a time of stress.

The UPSTATE CENTER for TRAUMA and PREVENTION RESOURCES (UCTPR)

“Tips for Parents and Teachers of Middle School Students” is part of the UCTPR Series
The Connection between Trauma and Substance Use, Abuse and Addiction
a program of the Council on Alcoholism and other Chemical Dependencies of the Finger Lakes.
Funding for this project was provided by the NYS Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services
under a grant from the Center for Substance Abuse Prevention of SAMHSA.
Material was adapted from the American Psychological Association.